31 Days to Build a Better Blog: Buy a Velvet Couch


Day 16, and I'm supposed to solve my readers' problems. If I can solve their problems, they're more likely to come back for more cake.

I am sincerely hoping that the president of BP is not one of my readers. (BP's got problems that'd be a challenge even for the best pastry chef.)

Anyway, if you are a normal reader with normal problems that don't require major industrial cleanup, this might be your place. I promise to take my problem-solving job seriously. So like any good psychiatrist, I'm going to buy a velvet couch. And I will put a box of designer tissues right next to it.

Indeed, I have already found the perfect couch. And this is so cool... It has a matching chair for me to sit in while we solve your problems.

The guards at the Louvre were a little miffed when I asked my daughter to roll around on it, to test its cushion-to-problem-ratio. But I wasn't phased. Only the best for my readers.

So I offered the guards $100 for the couch. It's in the Napoleon section, and goodness knows they've got about 50 more couches just like it. Obviously they need to put a few up for sale. Nobody needs 50 couches that look alike. Not even Napoleon.

Anyway, we are still in negotiations. Because I'm trying to get them to throw in these matching curtains for another $10. Then you and I will be set.

Now, tell me, how long have you had this problem...


LL's Day 1: Bambi in the Database, Day 2: The Dalai Lama Effect, Day 3: Darren Rowse, Please Link to Me, Day 4: Oprah, I Wanna Be Like You, Day 5: Email a Blog Reader, Day 6: Shakespeare and Company's Top 24 Blog Tips, Day 7: How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Link the Ways, Day 8: Entertaining Aliens, Day 9: Meet Me at the Mother Ship, Day 10: My Dog Ate Darren Rowse's Google Alerts, Day 11: Hey, Darren, It's My Turn, Day 12: Darren Gets on the Scale,, Day 13: I Will Not Be Swayed by Sales on Boxer Shorts, Day 14: Update a Key Page, Day 15: Honk if You Like, I Prefer Cake
ProBlogger's Solve a Problem
Paul's 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Project

Pretend Your Blog is a Barbie, a companion to ProBlogger's Day 17: Watch a First Time Reader Use Your Blog.

Would you like to follow Bambi's efforts at better blogging? Here's a button, if you like :)

31 Days to Better Blogging

  • Napoleon Furniture at the Louvre photo, by L.L. Barkat.



    Blogger Maureen said...

    I especially like the lyre as the back of the chair.

    But really, L.L., gilt-edged!

    I wish I'd saved the link to a pic I saw on a baker's site the other day. She had made a cake about the oil spill. You'll have to take my word, it did not look in the least appetizing, even though the "oil" was chocolate. Now, maybe if she'd gilded it like that couch and chair and added a taste of purple. . . .

    10:17 AM  
    Blogger Cassandra Frear said...

    Here's what you do: bring in the richest chocolate cake possible with espresso coffee. Stuff them with it.

    In the resulting natural high, they will arrive at the proper perspective.

    "Problems? What problems?"

    "You can have any couch you want."

    Now, THAT was easy. You're welcome.

    3:08 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Love it! This post has me smiling from ear to ear.

    Thanks! Chloe

    5:43 PM  

    Post a Comment

    << Home